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Whitney

from Armour by Boneflower

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lyrics

She said “I saw the moon in flames and didn’t feel a thing”. She put her hands on her face and started to loosen her knots with tears of rage. “My mother wants to die. She says she’s in pain and hates her life, so that’d be killing two birds with one stone (or three, if you count me)”
I’d see her ghosts in the room every time she opened her mouth. “She started weak but when the cancer started to leak, she said she had ants beneath her skin. And I’m happy just because, but when I go back home I feel those ants hatching and making our house their own.”

You left me but your smile will always be with me. You left me, your kindness is still watching over me.

“When I sleep I picture Nemesis: my mother blows her head out with a fucking 12-gauge. I try to stop her but the ants are eating me alive. And I hope that one day we’ll be able to forgive, but until then, I’d rather hold hands by the bed. Much so, I’ve become both the lion and the lamb. If you want it so, mom, go. Just go. I’ll keep the burden and tell everybody well: the world will be a darker place for those who remain.”

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from Armour, released March 9, 2020

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